Sunday, June 21, 2015

BB17: Who Do We Have Here?

Thank you for the pic Michael Doyle!

Well, three more days and we'll be eyebrow deep in another season of Big Brother. The excitement, rumors, speculation and, yes, anger, have already surfaced. The HGs have been announced, the mugshots and racist tweets have been uncovered, the fake "official" and "fan" accounts have opened. The parody accounts are not far behind.

The political issues have taken hold. The term of this season is transphobia because of Audry Middleton who is transgender. Following on the heels of Caitlyn Jenner, this is suddenly a hot topic, however people are acting like a new species has been discovered. Listen. I don't care if someone is straight, gay, transgender or a football player. I will tell it like it is and I won't care. Several rabid Frankie Grande fans have tried to pull the homophobia card on me because I cannot stand the dude. I don't fear anything, certainly not nut jobs who like to haul up bronze statues of their human idols.

My assessments have to do with their strategy, knowledge of the game, their perceived personality and their responses to questions. Their personal lives are important only in how they will influence the game. If they are parents or not. I care not. If they have had a charmed or tragic life is irrelevant. Their sexuality, as stated above, is none of my concern. These assessments are based on first impressions and are about as accurate as a jello shot. As we all know, their pregame strategies often implode, their good intentions are blown and their personalities - good and bad- are magnified. Since this is a social experiment, a microcosm shut inside four walls, they will ferment and we will observe and react.

That being said, I like Audrey despite the fact she uses YOLO and calls herself a superfan. She is a strong female and I'm all about strong women. I love men but I love when women outsmart them. She got me at wanting to get blood on her hands and intending to smoke out the Derricks and Dans. She's obviously a student of the game and others' mistakes. How this will translate once she's in the house is another story. When asked by Matt Boyer about a girl's alliance, she replies,  "If I can coordinate all of our cycles in one week that would be diabolical." OMG! ADORE! She doesn't want to emulate anyone's game and I'm calling it now. She'll be changing this game.

Austin Matelson: Dan's tattooed, jacked doppelganger, names himself Judas. Coincidence? I think not! Where have you been all my life? Yes, I know in WWE arenas. A cheerleader with a Masters in medieval romantic literature? Hello? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE? Anyway, back to this show. Hopefully his plan to play up his injuries and not show too much physical strength will work because I want him in the game for a long time. Audrey, please don't go after him. If he gets evicted before final 5, I might implode.

Next are Becky Burgess and Clay Honeycutt. We have seen them before in past seasons with different names. Becky will more than likely hook up with someone and forget all about her expertise with people. Clay, a cross between Jeremy and Caleb, will more than likely be equally annoying. Whatever.


Da'Vonne is a firecracker. Her first fatal flaw, though, is her intent to lie about her profession. She's a poker dealer but she's planning on saying she's a teacher. I'm sorry. Why are teachers less threatening than poker dealers or nurses? ANYWAY! She'll have to reassess that because there's a professional poker player in the house who might very well recognize her up front. She plans to take her time in making an alliance and play the middle of the house. Meh! But, she's another student of the game, with a solid plan to have only two people in her alliance. She wants a Keesha and a Memphis. We'll have to see what happens when she goes into the house. She'll likely fall into an alliance with Vanessa simply because they will know each other's secret. Da'Vonne's plan is to be a Danielle Reyes 2.0. And I'm all over that!

Jace Agolli. First words. "Awesome man." I'm out. Just call him Brahayce. He'll probably be most responsible for the feeds getting cut. Mark my words.

James Huling, the self proclaimed Hillbilly Asian, needs to lose his comparison to past players. They've been there and gone. He needs to tap into his uniqueness and run with it. His strategy is to expect the unexpected. Him referencing Derrick's strategy is giving me the hives. I do NOT want another boring-ass season of one person controlling sheep. But I know it won't happen because there's Audrey. Buddy. Be yourself. Please.

Um, HOW OLD IS Jason Roy? He seems like he's 15. He's not very good at self-editing according to him. Yes. baby. You let your boisterous side run wild. We need some life and entertainment in the house. Clown it up! And cut some unsuspecting HGs. And work the girls' alliance with your "gay glue"! *wink*

John McGuire IS A DENTIST! HE WILL BURN OUR EARDRUMS IN THE DR!! He's quirky and goofy and self-deprecating. Side-note: he's also a talented musician. If you can get past his over-the-top presentation and goofiness, John will be another one to watch because he knows his short-comings. I'll forgive him that he describes himself as a superfan. His plan to keep his mouth shut and not let others know what he knows is a good one. Will he be able to keep it up for 3 months? Hopefully!

Liz Nolan has a deep voice (the opposite of John). She met Porsche which is interesting since she reminds me of her. She's competitive and has no filter. She will definitely annoy fans with her laugh. She's a clean freak and that always goes well in the BB house... She'll have no part in a girls' alliance because she labels all women as "catty". Instead, she plans on a much more empowering strategy of attaching herself to a man. Blech.

Meg Maley IS ANOTHER LOUD ONE. Pause. Please John and Meg, do not talk to each other. On the plus side she's aware of this shortcoming and plans to keep her mouth shut. We all know that pre-season plans always work out... She seems to have a good understanding of the game but she needs to tone down a LOT.

Shelli Poole is another first time audition though it seems she's a recruit. She can't really answer quite a few of the questions. She draws a blank and so do I. She wants to lay low and she probably will as the first one evicted.

Steve Moses is this season's super nerd and he's pretty likable. The fact he's aware that the producers are into first-time applicants says a lot about his savvy of this game. He will play the young, innocent kid who is loyal. The fact that he compares himself to Caleb loses him some points in my book. Loyalty is one thing. Blindness is another. I always have high hopes for these nerdy "super fans" and the only one who has come through is Ian Terry. Come on, Steve. Make it work!

Vanessa Rousso is the one who will bust Da'Vonne's lie. She seems very level-headed and savvy about Big Brother with a solid plan going into the game. She also plans on not letting anyone know that she's a pro poker player. Refer to Da'Vonne. I like her. She seems very chill and very knowledgeable. She knows herself and what she wants. This is the one element that is crucial in the BB house.

Overall, this is a promising group. As I type it, I regret it. I've had these hopes for the past couple of years and it's been a deep disappointment. Let's hope this one isn't!

Thank you to Matthew Boyer @bigbrothernet for his amazing interviews! Awesome questions! See the interviews at Big Brother Net