BB16: Coo coo's Nest

Tonight is the night that will make or break the rest of the season for BB fans, depending on who comes in and who wins HoH. Frankly, if Donny or the returnee don't win HoH, it will be the end of BB16. It will chug along to its inevitable conclusion, predictable as a rusty nail. My prediction is that the juror's will compete first, and then the HoH comp will happen either later tonight or tomorrow. It would be the best way to give the returnee a chance at winning. (And I don't care if it's fair to the others.)

Zach is ready for his eviction. He's taking it in his stride and has not lived up to Frankie's slanderous expectations. His fan base is considerable including All-Stars such as Kaysar, Dr. Will, Danielle Reyes, Janelle and Britney, evictees such as Amber who will be buying a pink hat to give to him at the finale, and even Ariana Grande who's tweeted her disappointment at Frankie's nomination of Zach instead of Derrick.

It's indisputable that Derrick has been playing the best game all season, but his increasingly disturbing comments about other house guests is losing him fans, yours truly included. I tried to get past the fact that Derrick encouraged Caleb's crazy obsession with Amber to control him. It was crossing the line, but I understood his game motivations. Yesterday, however, he annihilated the line with his personal vendetta against Donny who's just trying to play the game like most of them.

When Christine made foul accusations against Donny, saying he "jiggled" his penis in front of her (Aug 20th, 6 am BBT - thanks Lisa Chanana!), Derrick encouraged her saying Victoria feels uncomfortable when Donny stares at her. Then, when Christine ratted Donny out after he attempted to talk some sense to her (an exercise in futility given she stabbed her closest friend in the back and threw the BOTB comp in order to oust him), Derrick got verbally violent, saying he would smack the M&Ms out of Donny's hand and tell him to "pick them up, bitch". (Donny told Christine, jokingly, that he would use the M&Ms to decide his nominees should he win HoH).

Sure the pressures of the game make people do and say things that are not defensible, however, Derrick's "good cop" facade peels away when he's not in control. Being a student of this game, he should be able to give Donny some credit for playing the game. And sure, he could be speaking this way for his disgusting companions, but he lost any sympathy most fans had for him.

Christine, on the other hand, continues to live up to her low status in fans' eyes. Despite the zing she got and  her whole crying act in its wake, she can't get her paws and body off Cody who's just as much to blame for this situation. She continues to bash everyone and everything, especially the women who have been evicted. This is what makes her ugly, not the face she was born with.

Then there's this:

 A quick read of someone who displays symptoms of sociopathic tendencies, proves that this dude is not all there. His graphic cruelty towards animals even in his deluded lies (he claimed to have broken a lion's jaw with his bare hands), his narcissism, his odd outfits, his lack of empathy, all show a very disturbing individual who should have thrown up any number of red flags during the psych testing. We know however that CBS doesn't really pay heed to those. Can you say Willie, Brandon and Russell Hantz?

Speaking of not all there, there's this:

This chick's jealousy, vapidness and vicious behaviour (ripping apart Zach's pink hat just because he was teasing her) is parallel only to her supreme lack of game. I present you with your second place winner.

Yeah and there's Ariana's brother too. But I don't have time for that.

Stay tuned! :)

BB16: Saints and Sloths

As Twitter EXPLODES with adulations and pleas for Zach, Donny's futile attempts to save Zach and himself are shut down in the house.

Zach is close to being canonized by a large faction of BB fandom. Since this is my first year being active on Twitter, I can't say if this happens every season, but it's quite the phenomenon this season. My timeline is littered with Zach pictures and gifs, pleas for him to saved, love towards any HG who happens to be supporting him, praise for all of Zach's fabulousness. At the risk of getting attacked, I need to keep it real. Zach is no saint. He's made some very personal comments against people who he had no call to be against, and made equally stupid moves in this game. As far as viciousness, Frankie, Christine and Victoria have him beaten. Anyway, I'm not going to bash the kid, and I've already stated my case about why he's not a good player of this game. (see previous posts)

Donny has been trying hard to save Zach (once again someone else is campaigning harder than Zach is himself) but also to save himself from the inevitable eviction that's looming in the horizon. The problem is that he's working with a bunch of humanoids missing crucial chromosomes. While Derrick and Frankie are dominating this bunch of zoo rejects, the others are protecting them, at risk of their own games. It's unreal. I can't even see a single thought process among them.

Anyway, Donny tried talking to Cody yesterday but he might as well be talking to a sloth. Nothing sunk in and it was business as usual. He hasn't had a chance to report to his puppet master, but that doesn't mean he won't. He's not even smart enough to consider the logical and true points Donny made about where Cody stands in the pecking order. I mean, all he has to do is consider that Frankie took Caleb off the block and not him.

Today, Donny attempted to talk to Christine, but he would have better luck getting a crustacean to do magic tricks. After his very valid arguments to the second of these genetically challenged individuals, Christine scurried to tell her chew toy everything Donny told her. What do you expect from a love-struck individual whose main concern is gaining attention from a jellyfish? Of course this will have a ripple effect. They will go to their masters, spill their guts and seal their dumbass fates.

The only hope that Donny has is if he wins HoH and whoever returns from jury comes in guns blazing. But who are we kidding? Even if those two can win HoH back to back, they're still outnumbered. The task they face is almost insurmountable. They would have to get rid of Derrick and Frankie in order to stand a chance but they have the rabid mutts to deal with.

On the bright side, Utopia feeds go live August 29th, and you can bet I will be blogging that here.

Stay tuned! :)

BB16: Patrol of Futility

Last night was one of two parallel patrols: 1- the useless patrol to catch the "saboteur" and 2- the equally useless campaign to save Zach using the hashtag #RenomRule on Twitter.

BullyModeDoucheBoy screaming accusations at Victoria after the "theft was discovered

The fact that these idiots still want to patrol (which is part of the TA task this week) to lookout for the saboteur is just proof that this house is populated by idiots. First of all, none of their possessions will actually leave the house if they don't personally take them out when evicted, as evidenced by the troubling fact that they found Aaryn's hat behind a chest of drawers. It seems production just gives the house a rudimentary face-lift instead of a thorough renovation. This, along with their recycled competitions, just highlights production's laziness. Anyway, back to the patrol. If there were a saboteur, he/she knows that the others are suspicious, so why would he/she risk being caught? Unless, it's Zach who would openly hide a cue ball after he's accused. This is just another example of the lameness of these people.

Desperation was spoltighted last night as a certain sector of BB fans, including the Grande family, spent most of the night tweeting production with the hopes that it would, for the first time this season, enforce the BB "rule" that says the HoH cannot tell the nominee he/she is being nominated. This is complete and utter futility. First of all, production does what it wants to do; and given Robyn Kass' blatant tweet about fans of social media, they do not care what tweeting fans think. Secondly, this rule was broken multiple times this season; if they enforce it now, it's another example of blatant rigging; but it's okay, as long as they're rigging it for a "fan fave". Thirdly, if CBS and production did nothing to address the serious and disheartening issue of racial bullying last season, why would they bother with a house guest who is not part of their preconceived story line of getting Frankie and Derrick to the end?

Speaking of fan favorite, it's quite astonishing how Zach has accumulated so many fans. Don't get me wrong, he can be a gentle, loving person towards the people he chooses; but he's also demonstrated a very vindictive and angry side. Granted, no one's perfect. Zach does have a certain charm of a 6 year-old, (roses are red, violets are blue... come on); but given what's left in the house, he's one of the two least obnoxious. This, like all things, is a matter of perception, however, what is indisputable is that his game play has been non-existent.

Zach lucked into a big "alliance" from the beginning, an alliance that allowed him to sleep through the majority of the game, laughed at his antics, shielded him when he was at risk of leaving and puppeteered him for the TA tasks. He's lucky Derrick's focus was getting out all the threats to Derrick's game, as the others willingly complied without knowing it. Well, this week, Zach's luck has run out and it's 70% his fault that he's in this position.

He might have continued his Zankie showmance to stay safe this week, but he also allowed Frankie to gain a foothold back with the group. Granted, Frankie is safe this week, but Zach could have continued his campaign to keep Frankie on the outs. When it came down to volunteering to go on the block next to Donny, he should have agreed to throw the BoB, but not throw it, ensuring that he and Donny were safe. Instead, he became petulant about it, drawing a huge target on his back with his "alliance". In addition, his sketchy behavior throughout the season, allowed Frankie to make him the "escape goat", culminating in him accusing Zach of being the saboteur. Finally, when Caleb told him that he was going on the block to be evicted, Zach took it like a sheep to slaughter. No fight, no trying to convince Frankie to nominate a bigger threat -Derrick.

Speaking of Derrick, the dude has it in the bank. Not only do we know this, the house guests know and have discussed this. When Zach told Frankie and Caleb that he would vote for Derrick above all others in F2, this should have given him and the others impetus to switch up the plan and put Derrick on the block. The fact that it doesn't even occur to them speaks to the fact that they all suck at this game.

Before I get a gazillion stones of backlash fired at me, keep in mind that I'm speaking purely from a game perspective. While a lot of these house guests have exhibited varying degrees of hateful behavior, and though I have judged them based on it, in this instance, no matter how much I like or do not like them, I will acknowledge great game play. Derrick's game is far from great. I'd call it great if he were in a house with strategic players. He's not. The others are so vapid as to evict all their allies in order to get rid of Derrick's threats with the exception of Donny.

Donny is, hands down, the fan favorite and the underdog we all love to root for; however, he too has made some critical mistakes in this game. Firstly, he allowed the others to isolate him, by going to bed while the others schemed. Had he played a more active role in the house from the beginning, rallied all the outcasts, including Joey, Pao, Brittany, Jacosta, Hayden, Nicole and Amber, he would have had a Pop Tart army. Instead, he sat passively as they were evicted one-by-one. Sure, the Douche Squad had the power the whole season, but he and the others could have infiltrated them. He certainly was onto them early on in the game, but he did not weaponize that knowledge.

Do I want Donny to go far? Sure. Who doesn't? But, unless he gets help from production and/or he wins the upcoming HoH and the person returning is strong enough to ally with him to win some competitions, his days are numbered.

Stay tuned!

BB16: Cry Me a River

So, Donny won the BoB, miraculously. Apparently, not only did Christine not help Donny but she was helping Cody and Caleb, a fact that the Douchenators want to disassociate themselves from, allowing Christine to take the hit. They couldn't believe that Donny won this competition alone. They said that unlike last week's BoB, it was not as easy to win alone.  (Later, they would accuse production of rigging it in his favor, giving him ear bud instructions and night vision and say that it was a "crap shoot") I find it hilarious that two of the biggest braggarts and shit-talkers in the house could not win again the "old man" as they call him.

Anyway. Donny was happy, as were 99% of the fans.

I was waiting for him to gather all the house guests into the living room to tell them that he's Kelly Pickler's older bother, that he's a flower bed mogul and that he's planning on giving all his winnings to a charity that helps grow gardens in the Sahara. Naw. That's not his style.

While he celebrated, the others scrambled, complained, bashed Donny, panicked and were being their general douchy selves. Christine even went as far as comparing Donny to BB10 Jerry. In what universe are these two even remotely alike other than being over 30? Jerry was a supreme misogynist, frequently calling women the c-word, while Donny has been nothing but a gentleman.

Anyway, Derrick was the one most affected because, for the first time, he has no control over his target. Not only that, but apparently, they heard someone from production cheering when Donny won BoB. This did not sit well with this lowly crew of humanity's outcasts. How dare they cheer for Donny? Yes, it was unprofessional but an understandable reaction. Only those dead inside won't cheer for Donny.

Anyway, knowing the way Derrick's mind works, he realized he isn't the top dog in this fight, so he had a meltdown in HoH. This strategic meltdown is no doubt a combination of his frustrations and a ploy to gain fan sympathy. This, along with mentioning his daughter increasingly and talking down to people, is losing him support among the fans. It doesn't help that later in the night, while he and Caleb were talking about/bashing Donny, they came up with a plan to intimidate Donny, should he win the PoV, into using it. Yeah., okay. Good luck with that fools.

Anyway, that did not stop Derrick from playing Jedi mind tricks on the weak-minded like Caleb, tossing out the idea that backdooring Zach is not the worst case scenario. Frankie is HoH and we know that he's already tossed Zach out into the wild on several occasions, but will he go for it this time? Who knows?

Interesting to note, before the PoV players were picked, Donny subtly told Zach that he hoped he would get picked for PoV, implying that Zach would be in danger if he didn't win it. He stressed to Zach that he's alone, meaning they should work together. Even though, that agreement was not made, Zach let no one in on this discussion.

It all depends on PoV and who wins it. Those playing will be Frankie, Cody, Caleb, Donny, Christine and Victoria. Of course "beast mode" won this in his mind already. He and the other Alpha dogs scoff at the idea of Donny  or Victoria winning it. These fools will never learn will they?

Stay tuned!

BB16: Skittles. Taste the Bullshit.

This season is about as exciting to watch as a scab on a toe. Putting aside the paltry game play that has allowed Derrick to control this game the whole season, or the fact that every single eviction is happening without resistance, or that the eviction speeches have turned into shout-outs, and that we've been saddled with a crew of extraordinary douche nuggets lead by production's pet, the "social-media mogul", now the "game" we've loved throughout the years has been reduced to nominations by Skittles. WTF?

With the crippling Bottle of the Block twist, we've had an increase of thrown competitions and one-sided power. As Derrick and Frankie are on the HoHs, they've trained their target on Donny - a member of their TA alliance. They've both been pandering to the cameras with this schmoltsy twist (Frankie just lives for camera time). Now they are going to evict one of TA? How do they think that would go over with the fans? Sure, they have no way of knowing that Donny has lead all the fan polls all season, but they should know that "America" put him on the team.

Anyway!

The bobble heads and Derrick convened to decide who was going to volunteer to go on the block with Donny to throw the BoB competition. Of course, they all wanted the alliance pasty, Zach, to do it; but he was having none of it, incurring Cody's, Caleb's and Chrsitine's wrath and questions of trust. They tried to threaten him to agree but when they reached a stalemate, they drew Skittles to see which three would go up. The results? Derrick will nominate Donny with Christine, Frankie will nominate Cody and Caleb. 

This shows an incredible lack of forethought in Zach. He could have easily shut his mouth, gone on the block with Donny and not throw the competition. Of course, he's taking the chance of losing but now he's the next target and the possible replacement nominee.

Anyway!

Today will be another sham of a competition targeting the person in the house who has literally nothing and noone. What kind of lame game play is this? Derrick should know better than to go into the final stages with a 6 person "alliance". Frankie is the biggest threat to his game, but Derrick won't target him? He doesn't know that someone from jury will return. Is he holding his cards close to his chest to see what shakes out after BoB and PoV ot is he trying to play it too safe?

Here's hoping that Donny wins BoB. Hey Grodner, you pulled a "miracle" last week to save your favorite; how about you save ours this week?

Stay tuned.

BB16: You Say Charity, I Say Bullshit

So in the early morning hours, (Aug 12th) 2:48 am BBT cams 3/4, Frankie admitted to Derrick that he won't be using his stipend (to build a school in Africa). [They were talking about the TA and how much money they can make from it. We never got to hear what he would say next because it went to fish.} Let's just give him the benefit of the doubt that this self-aggrandizing paranozzle will actually give money to this charity.  I guess he'll be buying pencils for the school with the $85 this social media mogul has managed to collect.

But what prompted him to explain to Derrick which money he would use to help those kids? I mean who cares, right? Money is money. At first I couldn't understand it, thinking it's a dumbass move to give Derrick even more ammo (but why should he be different than everyone else in the house?).  Then it dawned on me. They were talking about how much money they could potentially make from Team America tasks. Oh I see you , Frankie J Grande. Now, you're manipulating production! This just highlights Frankie's ruthlessness to use everyone and everything in his life to promote himself. This, along with the fact that production is working to keep him safe, makes him one of the least-liked individuals this season.

Second only to Christine.

Not only has she been playing a horrible game, basically being instrumental in evicting all of her potential allies in order to gain approval from the guys and uninterrupted attention from her BB boyfriend, Cody, she's been spewing hatred for everyone and everything in and out of the game. This is, no doubt, a reflection of her deeply-rooted insecurities and issues of self-esteem; but it's not a good look on her, as she bashes every single fan fave this season.

Speaking of the house prostitute, Cody has been giving me endless reasons to belly-laugh as he puts down other people's game while being Derrick's biggest puppet and the most cowardly player this season. His sole HoH was used to evict someone who wasn't gunning for him in order to keep someone who's completely worthless, except as a number.

Caleb found redemption with some fans when he "saved Zach" by "convincing" Derrick to keep Zach and, later, when he offered to throw BoB to keep Frankie in the nomination chair. This failed spectacularly because Caleb is incapable of thinking, always concerned with grandstanding and keeping the spotlight on himself. It didn't help that production threw in a comp very similar to the one Frank Eudy won, alone,  in BB14, and stopped Caleb from trying to sabotage it by telling him he couldn't play after it started. (I would strengthen the theory that this competition was a last minute switch-up by pointing out that production did not give them a chance to practice on the apparatus like they did in BB14 and have done until this comp.)

Anyway, despite Nicole's valiant attempts to campaign, she's hit a huge roadblock called Derrick, who's now floating the idea that she's a 4th year medical student. Hell, maybe her professor is Donny who is the next target. Though Derrick wants to keep him for TA, it will take Donny winning HoH/PoV in order to stay safe. Zach is also on shaky ground with Derrick and Cody which infuriates me.

How is it smarter to get rid of a man who is alone or a guy who is loyal, over big threats like Frankie? I'm sure DR has a lot to say about that.

Stay tuned! :)

BB16: Rap by G Sizzle

When BB16 started 

the fans were all lit

until we were hit

with production's bullshit

The people they chose

it was quickly disclosed 

they were mostly disposed

for the image they posed.

A neopolitan mogul

pranced onto the scene

this stunt casting blowfish

a Broadway hasbeen

His goal is so lame

using "Africa's" pain

his sister's known name

to gain internet fame.

The obvious pandering

by a network who's bust

while throwing the real fans

under the damn BB bus

For a handful of children

fans of a pop star

Production will make sure

this poser goes far.

The joke's on you Moonves

The ratings are falling

Your cash cow has failed

so just quit your bawling

Then there's the cowboy

whose beast mode is trolling

for fame and delusions

This mofo is crawling

Because of a beauty

who don't want him at all

he tossed her and laughed 

at her BB downfall

His bragging and whining

makes my stomach churn

The best BB moment

is when on him they turn

Oh, he'll find a few fans

when he comes outside

but as far as the rest of us

to hell he can ride.

Another addition

to this jacked up crew

is a chick who'll do anything

for a damn BB screw.

She'll play the boys game

Wanting applause

While she gropes and rubs Cody

with her wedding ringed paws.

The day is still coming

when, at last, it's her  turn

The sausage she's pawing,

this hag will soon burn.

She seethed all damn season

with hatred and jelly

on the women who're prettier

on the new HD telly

She plotted and ruined

all the women she hated

but guess what Christine

you're the constant low-rated.

Now on to the house whore

Yes, Mr. Flirtmance

He's gotten the women

to dance for his glance

But what is insane

his sole claim to fame

Is that he's so lame

to play Derrick's game.

The goat of the season

Is easy to find

she's whining and whimpering

all the damn time

She hates all the women

because they're all fake

with extensions and make-up

that award she will take.

Though Ian was dressed

as the BB pet dog

Vicky's the poodle

clenched on Derrick's log

Derrick's the house boss

It's hard not be 

With a house full of idiots

who plainly can't see

His schemes and decisions

like good little pawns

And only in jury

the truth on them dawns

Instead of conspiring

to play their own games

when they go and he wins

themselves they can blame.

The only one who's got

Derrick's devious number

Is Donny of course

who's alert when in slumber

The problem with this

Is Donny's alone

And if he can't win comps

He'll be going home

Zach might be an ally

but who knows with him

He sways with the wind

and at every lame whim

If he puts in place

A plan that will cut

the schemers and liars

He's got a great shot

We're waiting to see

who'll he stab in the back

and live up to the name

of the Zach Attack

Nicole is outnumbered

her time has arrived

her game has just started

but she took a dive

Helping the dominant

take out all the chicks

now she's without allies

surrounded by dicks.

This one sided season

without power shift

has taken a tumble

into boring-ass shit.

We count out the weeks

as this season done reeks

all enjoyment we seek

from the bottom it leaks. 

*drops the mic*

-GSizzle aka Genie Sea out